Men in Therapy
Despite, the popular portrayals of therapy in our culture, it is still common for many men to have difficulty beginning the therapeutic process. Men often do not see the benefit of talking about their feelings. They are accustomed to solving their own problems logically and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps. Occupied with work and family they often do not maintain friendships and support systems that women utilize much more successfully.
Since men are often accomplished in their work lives, they will attempt to apply problem solving and business skills to the other facets of their lives. It can be frustrating to find out that such strategies do not work as well in these other areas. Men often find solace in potentially destructive ways; substance abuse, an extramarital affair, throwing themselves into work or an obsession with the Internet.
It is not uncommon for men to find their way to a therapist’s office only when they are convinced to: By a spouse, a supervisor or by a situation (such as alcoholism) that gets out of control. Once in therapy, men may find reasons to leave quickly, such as impatience with the process, or a suddenly urgent work assignment. I have many years of experience in working with men, overcoming these obstacles, and helping them see the benefits of starting and remaining in therapy. Together we can understand the root causes and patterns that have been interfering in their personal lives.
Couples therapy can be useful if there have been recent changes in your relationship, and can be beneficial even if there are no current problems. Some reasons couples decide to enter therapy together are:
Couples therapy can also be helpful if one or both partners have been unfaithful, or if you are considering divorce or separation. Unlike individual therapy, couples therapy may be time limited and focused on one or two specific areas of concern. I can help you with the above issues and to determine specific relationship goals. I work with both straight and gay couples
Statistics say that eighty percent of people are dissatisfied with their work life/choice of career. Perhaps you feel that the choice was never yours; that you “fell into a job”, “just did something for the money”, or bowed to parental pressures. The thought of leaving the comfort of a secure job can be daunting, especially under the present economic conditions. Sometimes career dissatisfaction can be related to other life issues. I have extensive experience with career management and transition. Therapy can help you to find the work you love, or to make your present career more rewarding.
Artists, Musicians and Creative Individuals often have unique difficulties in their careers. Perhaps early success was achieved, but subsequent successes have not been so frequent. Making it in a creative profession, often involves financial anxiety and sacrifice, which can lead to feeling of deprivation. The success of peers and colleagues may lead to feelings of resentment and envy. Regrets over choosing a more stable life path can be crippling. Procrastination and rationalizations can lead one not to do the work that used to come so easily.
Alternately, if one is successful in the arts, it can feel like what has been achieved may vanish at any moment, or that success is undeserved. Staying on top can be as difficult as it was to make it in the first place.
I can assist you in your articulating your creative pursuits. We can clarify your goals, end self-sabotaging behaviors and help you be comfortable with artistic work that you love.
New to New York
It’s been a dream your entire life; Moving to New York City.
You visited a few times. Perhaps you attended college here. Of course, New York looked great on “Sex in the City”, “Friends” and “Seinfeld.”
But living here is a different experience. Although we often hear that this is the “Greatest City in the World”, it can be difficult finding your place here. The daily routine that should be so easy can be daunting. It is not unusual in New York to feel that others are more ambitious, successful and “have it all together”, leading to feelings of low self worth. Newcomers to the city are often under a number of unique stressors such as loneliness, adjusting to work, forging new relationships. In addition, there are unhealthy ways to deal with problems within easy reach.
If you are new to New York, therapy may be able to help you to map out your path here, to learn how to make connections, to form healthy relationships and ultimately to make New York City your own.
Teenage Boys and Young Men
The teenage and college years can be especially difficult for boys. Physical changes, academic pressures and social factors can all have an impact on the teenager’s development. Such questions about identity and future goals are normal but this phase of life can sometimes lead to depression, substance abuse or risk taking behavior. Young people can be resistant to seeking help for what are common and treatable issues.
I have had great success in working with teenage and young men. If possible, it is best if the young person call me directly. If you are the parent of a young man who is reluctant to come to therapy please call me and I may be able to be of assistance.